You work out of a Hotel?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
