my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
