You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
