i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
