would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize
