What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
