So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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