Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
