"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
