the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
