someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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