"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
