somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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