just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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