great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
