that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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