So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
