Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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