Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
