well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
