so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
