Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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