I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
