This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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