its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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