I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
