Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
