Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
