Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
