bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
