my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
