The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You made out with two different species that night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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