remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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