Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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