Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We left an ass print on the piano.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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