he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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