yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no you cant smoke seaweed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
