now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He uses pillows to masturbate.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Two words: blizzard sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
