I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
