did you get engaged???
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
