There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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