Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
