you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
