Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
