I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
