i don't like sucking hair
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
time to smoke my breakfast
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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