I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I party with great urgency now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
