So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
