he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
