oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
