I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
