They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
