Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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