from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
