people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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