Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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