You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You were trust falling into bushes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
