Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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